I started a post earlier this week and then struck it all off the page and went away. I felt I'd accomplished so very little in the past two weeks that I might as well not bother...
But the desire to live differently than I am at present (as happy as my circumstances are) won't let me give up and quit. And so, despite my thinking that no accomplishment means no post, I've continued to change and move and think and dream just like always.
Reaching for inspired goals these past two weeks, I've changed up my eating habits a bit. I did implement the idea of eating lighter meals in the evenings. When my husband works I have eaten very lightly of the same fare I've prepared for my daughter's supper, or I've chosen cottage cheese and fruit, cereal, etc. It must be working somewhat because honestly I am hungry with a capital H just about bedtime each evening. I've not given in and eaten more, nor am I so hungry I can't go to sleep. I am sleeping all the way through most nights now and if nothing else changes but that, it's enough.
I am still struggling with portions. I admit that for the most part suggested serving sizes seem appropriate. Even one cup of cereal suits me just fine, when I add 1/2 cup of blueberries and 2 tbsps of chopped walnuts and 1/2- 3/4 cup of milk. But let's go on a reality check here: 1 chocolate chip cookie? 2 oreos? Not gonna happen in this life! What I'm choosing to do: limit my treats to one time a day, stick as near the recommended serving as possible, or even better, eating only a 2 square serving of a Hershey Special Dark chocolate bar. That is an easy compromise. I find the Extra Dark chocolates are even easier to divvy into single square servings, because the intense taste satisfies.
I did have a moment of wondering Wednesday though, as Mama and I ate lunch and I left roughly half my food (a Chicken Penne Cesear Salad) at the restaurant, what it would be like to eat only half the food on my plate. I tried that same idea today when I made chicken Cacciatore and pasta for supper. I ate a small portion at lunch and had just 1/2 cup of pasta with the three ounce breast. I was happily and comfortably full. Hungry by 5pm, yes, but not more than usual. So this too is another portion control method that might be worth trying.
I haven't listed a thing on eBay as of yet. Instead I went off in another direction and decided that what I needed to do was to switch up my grocery shopping. I've been doing a Big Shop, once every two weeks, and then a fill in shopping trip mid-pay period. This works for us, but it's a lot of work for me and it means that our fridge is so full for about 10 days we can barely open it without stuff falling out and then it's so empty for the next four days that everyone who gapes at the stark white interior feels twice as hungry and eats up everything in sight. That percipitates a run to the store mid pay period and the money comes off the next week's grocery budget (supposedly), but somehow there's nothing left and so I spend a bit more. It's been a stupid cycle and I finally decided to stop trying to make this obviously flawed plan work.
As of this week, I am going to shop weekly. I've a set amount I plan to spend and surely to goodness we can manage to survive from week to week without the rob Peter to pay Paul drama of shopping between times. Aside from the more stable food levels, not overstuffing the fridge between cycles, and family not getting starvation syndrome becomes food levels remain basically the same throughout the week, I am thinking this might be a bigger money saver than anticipated. #1: I get to shop good sales every week #2Typically I spend less when shopping for one week at a time because I am a better judge of what we'll eat in a week's time than what we'll eat in two weeks time. #3 I can take into account what we've got to finish up as leftovers for the week. All in all, I figure we're going to save a good 25% of the current budgeted amount. And that's all to the good in light of our upcoming expenses and Christmas shopping, etc.
I didn't do anything towards the makeover portion of my goals, but I bought a summer shade of foundation at a CVS sale that actually ended up giving me money back in my pocket. And I bought a shade of lipstick that I've gotten a ton of compliments on in the past. I've decided for the hair portion of it to just find a good stylist who can make a standard bob cut look nice. My hair is a bit fussy and elaborate hairstyles are out. I need just a good cut, classic styling that can be left alone or polished up a bit and a bob works nicely with my features.
I got off my procrastination pot and actually hemmed the pants I bought three months ago, then went out and bought two more pair so I have a decent wardrobe of pants for once in my life. For years, I've gotten by on the 'all I need is two pairs of pants and both of them black" poverty days thinking. All of the pants are good neutral colors: a sort of loden green, chocolate brown, black and grey. Same mileage really as black pants, but a lot smarter looking than wearing only black day after day.
I also did a little more clearance rack shopping and came up with two more tops and another jacket to extend my wardrobe into the early days of winter. And sorted my closet. What I found was surprising. Things I was certain no longer fit me, did. And luckily they were things I really liked. I culled a few things out, as well. I see no reason why I shouldn't look the part of a woman with a little creative flair now when I leave the house. My expenses thus far have been under $50. The remaining portion of my pledged amount for this makeover is going to go to the uplifting garments.
At home, I've been busy just getting the house back into shape. Not the deep cleaning, long range plans I've had at all. I really need to spend some money in this area to get things accomplished: water hose, paint, etc. But I do have the potting soil and the pots needed to renew the houseplants.
And a roadside find has me pondering redecorating the master bath. I picked up a bench with cast iron legs. A trip into Hobby Lobby with Mama resulted in my coming home with fabric to recover the bench...which just accidentally goes with the curtains and rugs I already have. I will be dying towels (they are perfectly good towels, just faded, so I got color remover and dye at Hobby Lobby), and the paint color I chose months ago is in the fabric as well.
Creatively I'm feeling very restless. I haven't had time to look at my work on the laptop, nor have I taken the time to go internet with it yet, but that will hopefully happen on Monday. I did scratch out an extra post this week at the Penny Ann blog. Now that's something I'm curious about...
I've had a consistent readership at the blog for the past two years. Suddenly this month, my readership base has dropped from 1500 a week to about half...Is it due to boredom with my limited posts? Am I in too much of a rut? Is it a temporary summer time lull due to gardens/schools/vacations? I find that though I felt Penny Ann was confining, I don't want to lose the opportunity to tell others of my love for the country/frugal/homekeeping life. I feel very much that as a God given inspiration it's a wonderful ministry tool to share my triumphs and my mistakes as I work in my home on a daily basis and struggle with budgets and meals and such.
I went premium on that blog but I don't see that I've netted a thing by doing so. I can't use the higher grade editing tools due to my computer having Vista instead of XP. And there's some screw-up with google adsense and the blog. Without premium I couldn't use google ad-sense, but when I signed up with google they said I had an account associated with my blog already. I've not earned a penny off that, that's for sure, which is why I went premium, thinking I could make it at least pay out a few pennies. I may end cancelling that at the end of the month if I can't figure it all out.
For balance, I admitted to myself that I needed a little more help in the house. My daughter is wanting to earn money towards a laptop. I need household helps. So, I've hired her to mop my house once a week for $5 a week. It's just two rooms that need to be mopped, but I never seem to get to it as often as I'd like and she's perfectly willing to add that to her bank account.
I'm also consistently asking her to do some household related chore every day. Unlike when her brothers and sister were all at home and the work was piled up regardless of my output of effort, with just the three of us, the house doesn't need the same level of labor. And so, for the most part, I've just done all the work by myself and not requested any help from her. I realized I've given her short shrift in some ways. She hasn't had responsibility of helping and has gotten a little selfish and lazy about things. Asking her to do a chore or two daily isn't a huge thing, but it's that little bit more time I allot myself to do other things I'd like to get done because I know she'll do whatever I ask, if I only ask.
My friend and I didn't have coffee yesterday. And I didn't offer her an alternative day. She was given an opportunity to go to work, unexpectedly and it happens that she has to work on Thursdays. If I can find a suitable time for us both, I'll make the offer, but until that occurs, we've left it off. My daughter has added Academic Bowl to her senior class load and will need a ride home two evenings a week. Not a problem, that's why I'm a stay at home mom, but it does make me mindful of adding too much to my plate with her additional needs of my time.
The most surprising revelation of the past two weeks has been a coming together of my husband and I on some heavy issues. His job had been up in the air again for nearly two months. We got an answer finally and there will be no more negotiations for the next three years. On the one hand, I'm glad of it. It's a lot easier to go along with things as they are than to face lots of changes that aren't necessarily welcome ones at this stage of life. But on the other hand, I was shocked at my grief over the idea that he might possibly not move into a new phase of life and start to live his inspired dream life. However, I also came to another realization: I can't change his life for him, I can't live his dreams for him and I can't make things happen for him. He has to do all those things himself in his own way, in order to have his own authentic dream life. I can only be there by his side to support him.
A second issue isn't resolved and isn't one I can discuss openly, but we've agreed on two forms of dealing with it. One of those is a sabbatical break to step back, look at the situation impassively, relax and stop battling. We're two soldiers taking a bit of R&R. And in the meantime, we've agreed to stop beating the horse.
And that is my report for week 9. Living life on my own terms, creatively inspired to have the best life I can make of it!
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