Day 4: What I might have been

This morning, as I stood at the kitchen sink loading dishes into the dishwasher, I half listened to K's tv program, Made. Today's theme has apparently been Prom Queen/King day. The girl on this particular episode was saying, "I want to look back and see that I did something I dreamed of doing."

Naturally my own mind skimmed back over the last 32 years to my own 18th year of life and I looked dispassionately at the girl I had been and the dreams I'd held dear. Not quite the life I'd planned, because let's face it, even if our dreams are as simple as being a wife, mother, homemaker and writer, one hardly dreams of endless loads of dishes and laundry, sleepless nights with crying babes in arm, quarrels with hubby, estranged children, or hanging on tooth and nail to writing via blogs and wondering if we haven't made it by 50 will we ever? Nope, that's not in an 18year old's thoughts.

And while I've been incredibly lucky to achieve happiness in my life at last, I also realized that it was too late to be what I might have been when I was 18. Lest you think I am feeling bluesy you'd be entirely wrong. For right on the heels of that last thought came the realization that it's not to late to be what I still might. It's just a matter of grabbing at opportunities and taking them, continuing to dream and reach, something I'm a little better prepared to do than I was at 18, being many years wiser, stronger and more firmly grounded.

Today I continued to work on that one portion of my porch. The birdhouses are all painted, the window frame is half painted. I am now out of paints of any sort other than silver and black. For the moment I'm done with it, until I can get around to picking up a few more plants, a can or two or three of paint and/or the mood strikes to do some sewing.

The duty work I'd meant to do using online resources was preempted by heavy lightning and then the popping on and off again of the electricity. So I retreated to my bedroom with the laptop, and lacking a wireless connection, popped in a DVD and watched a movie, nice and relaxing way to spend an afternoon after a fairly busy morning.

Well, I guess I'd better tend to duty now that the weather is more amendable to my internet connection. It's just another day in my Inspired Life.