Week 27/Day 7: Ponderings for the Next Year

Hello all. I know. I'm sure you've all been absolutely as busy as I've been the past four weeks and will fully understand why I was MIA on this blog. It seemed I did a great deal in the intervening weeks. I decorated for Christmas, did the shopping I'd left undone all year long, fretted over ways and means and was delighted to realize that (a) God would and did provide and that (b) what I couldn't afford wasn't necessarily the best gift I could give anyway. I cooked, cleaned, travelled (Kay had a number of doctor appointments and we had many days of errands, services, and shopping tossed in for good measure), worked and worked and worked and enjoyed a few Christmas parties.

My husband's work party this year was exceptionally pleasant. Usually we gather at a local pizza place. It's always a nice gathering but in a public place with booths it's hard to get in a nice group. This year his boss decided to have the party in his home, the tables were set up in one room and the whole things went off very nicely. So nicely that his boss eventually told us all to go home!lol.

Just for the record, our family get together at my mom's was by far one of the best we've had in years. It made up in gold for the way our Thanksgiving Day went down. My sweet husband was actually able to attend that gathering with me for a change. It's seldom that he is included in my family gatherings because my mother seldom plans them around his off weeks. However, my son got in on the planning this time and made sure the dates coincided with his dad's off week. I'm not sure my husband was thrilled, lol, but I was deeply happy to have him there. I often feel very much as though I have a fictitious husband when we're with my family.

We've had a lot of rain this month as well, probably as much rain altogether as our midwestern friends and family have had snow this past week. The ground is sodden and squishy still. It runs in the ditches as it hasn't for years and years. The river is high and has stayed so for nearly 6 weeks now.

A bit of personal family news: My husband was offered Worship leader position at our synagogue and accepted after he went into prayer. This is the most wonderful news as it confirms our decision to trust God to position him to move ahead in his music career as well our faith that we were moving into the very place where God wanted us.

The past month has not been all about parties and work and rain however. I finished my annual review. I had a lovely Christmas Day, though I admit to having a rather blah feeling about it all right up until Christmas Eve. I've had a couple of days alone to really ponder and think about the year ahead and plan my goals for the month. I'm excited over some of the creative ideas I've had in the past two days as well. I guess I just needed the quiet spaces to hear my creative voice once more.

It also occurred to in the past couple of days that we aren't just starting a new year, we're starting a new decade. I would love to look a bit further ahead into my future and see where I'll be at this time in 2019. Just a sneak peek, you know? But I will tell you, if offered the opportunity it's unlikely I'd look. I never can read the last chapter or page of a book to see how it comes out. How could I do that for my life? It would spoil all the fun of the surprises ahead wouldn't it?

So while I have this stretch of alone time, I'd like to start sharing a few of my goals for the coming month:

#1 I have a new Bible study plotted out. A couple of years ago I decided to study the names of God so I could learn more about who He was. It was a good study but I felt I learned only the tip of the whole of Him. I found a new book that includes more scripture and questions to work on at the end of each chapter. I thought I'd like to go back and read the other two books as well as the new one, to view different translations of the Bible etc. I mean to go more in depth this time.

As it happens I had a wonderful revelation of a side of Christ I've never had before. At the beginning of the month as I sat in synagogue I wrote out a quick list of all that Yeshua is to me. It wasn't by any means comprehensive but just a quick run through: Counselor, Confidant, Savior, Lamb of God, etc. It gave me a nice bit of food for thought. The last service we attended I was so moved by the music and began to pray about my blase state of late. I knew part of the problem was that I'd lost that deep personal side of my spiritual life.

I don't know about you, but just as I can disconnect from my husband at times, due to being busy and tired, I also disconnect from God. This particular Saturday, I suddenly had a vision of Jesus gathering me in his arms and showering kisses all over my face. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I felt myself yearning for him. I was a bit surprised by the vision because I'd never thought of Jesus Lover of my Soul, but that it what the experience was reminiscent of, a passionate yearning for Him, wanting to be as near as I could get to Him once more. It was not sexual but it was definitely full of longing and desire on my part to meet His desire for me to draw near...It was a wonderful revelation. To feel that he longed for me to return to Him as much as I longed to return...I was overwhelmed with that vision of His love for me.

That revelation has made me even more determined to follow this study for the beginning of the year.

I also plan to begin reading the Bible through once more. I am very close to finishing this year's reading of the Bible. The next reading will follow a chronological pattern, so that the whole falls into the actual time line as I read.

#2 I have had a strong tendency to speak for my children and my husband, often interfering in their natural relationship with one another and others and irritating all mightily. It isn't done maliciously but more and more I see it as an act of arrogance, as though I know better than they what they should be saying and when, need intervention in their relationships with one another, are unable to handle their own affairs. I am working hard to curb that tendency. That same revelatory Saturday at synagogue pointed up this fact. I came very near speaking on my husband's behalf to someone. I listened to the inner urging to keep my tongue still and I'm so happy I did, because the way things worked out I'd have been completely off base and out of line! Frankly it saved a world of hurt and hard feelings. With his new position as Worship leader it is vital that I keep still and let him do this in his way, working through prayer to handle it as he feels is best. I'll need prayers for me on this one dears, and will deeply appreciate it if you'll remember me.

#3 We did very well over the holiday period but it's time to get strict once more about our finances. I'll be returning to my pre-holiday budget of $115 per week for our grocery, personal and household needs. Honestly if I can bring it lower I will, but I feel it will be challenge enough at first to get back to this limit.

As well, we allocated a portion of our income from savings to our checking for the past three months while my husband has been on shortened pay due to his accumulation of holidays and vacations. It isn't a great sum but it made up the difference in the naturally built in overtime hours he would receive when working. Now that he's back to regular hours at the beginning of the year, I want to make sure that portion is once more allotted to our savings account.

Another desire this year is to save $10/week towards next year's Christmas expenses. I have truly had good intentions about finishing Christmas shopping by the end of October but for years now it hasn't happened. We get hit heavily by birthdays in February and again for an 8 week period starting at the end of May and running through mid-July. By the time we hit that second wave of birthdays I am so offtrack it's impossible to catch up. With my husband now planning to take off for the full month of October and several days in both November and December of each year, the money suddenly dwindles about the time I'm ready to pull up my bootstraps and go at the shopping once more. And I've discovered that the man actually LIKES to shop for Christmas gifts! Who knew?

So with all that in mind, it seems that if I can at least put aside a set amount each week we should be able to fairly well manage our shopping in those long weeks he's out of work. $10/week will more than cover what we'd normally spend and give us a little wiggle room for mailing packages to the Grands as well, which by the way, took a nice chunk of money this year! As well $10/week is just a matter of scraping together loose change and going without a couple of sodas or a bunch of flowers. I can do that easily!

#4 Time to get back on track with my housekeeping. This past year has been abysmal as far as cleaning went. Between taking care of sick folks and running hither and yon to doctors and such, I truly never finished a single deep clean of any room. I will once more revert to Fly lady's cleaning plan which will allow me to focus fully on one room a week. I may not do all the deep cleaning in that week, but when the next week rolls around the following month, I should be able to tackle still more of the required tasks. I figure that means each room should be well and truly cleaned at least once a quarter, a far better record than this year. I do very well with the routine stuff so no need to sign up for a course of reminders. I just need to focus on one area each week to get the house fully back in shape once more.

#5 I have all sorts of ideas for the Penny Ann blog. I won't share what all I hope to implement in the coming year, but I'm really excited about the thoughts that have come across to me this past weekend. I've been busy jotting down notes. Penny Ann is a work in constant process of being changed. I can't wait to see how the ideas work out.

#6 UFO's abound in my home. Unfinished Objects, areas, crafts, etc. I plan to tackle at least one UFO a week in the coming month. Some are going to require more work than others and some simply require that I stop putting them off. I want this year to be the year I finally achieve a completion of every started project. Then I can get away from the distractions they cause and move forward.

Notice what I am not putting down as a goal. For the first time in nearly 40 years I am not making it a goal to lose weight, diet, eat right or exercise. I am so sick of having that around my neck weighing me down. I'm hopeful that this year, I finally get around to just enjoying my life and stop feeling guilty about food and what others must think of me. I figure if I focus on the areas of my life that are important to me, rather than the one that the world at large tells me I should, I'll be a great deal happier.

I'll end here, as it's getting time for my husband to come in from work. I will do my best to post at least weekly now the holidays are over.